How will I know when I've found the right spouse for me?
The perfect spouse is described in Scripture only through the description of how a Christian should live. As you look to find a spouse, look for someone who strives to seek God in all they do, takes steps to become more like Jesus, and practices spiritual disciplines such as prayer, reading the Bible, and giving. Hold up any possible spouse against Scripture's calls for holy living and a relationship with Jesus.
God's Word tells us not to marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14–15). We should marry a person who clearly exhibits a Christian life. That's just about all the guidance the Scriptures give us on seeking the “right” spouse.
You should take the time to really understand the person you are preparing to make a life-long commitment with in marriage. How do they treat their parents, friends, new acquaintances, co-workers, and their boss? How do they behave when they are sad, angry, joyful, or confused? Who are their friends and who were their friends? We are greatly influenced by those we spend time with (1 Corinthians 15:33).
Ask, are they like-minded with you about obeying Christ in marriage? In our society, many people are church-goers or Christians in name only. Pray for wisdom (James 1:5) and ask God to help you discern this important decision.
Are you ready to marry—to make a life-long commitment to one person? Marriage requires a deep sacrifice and selflessness to succeed. Many do not. If you are ready to be engaged, seek out Scripture on what it means to be a biblical wife and husband (Ephesians 5:21–33; 1 Corinthians 7:1–6; Titus 2:1–5; 1 Peter 3:1–7). Then, find a Bible-believing premarital counselor or pastor to prepare you and your fiancée for a successful marriage beyond your wedding and honeymoon. You will need to discuss how you both view things such as children, employment, lifestyle, how to handle finances, church attendance, and what to do with time away from work.
Seek God and be open to His leading rather than your emotions. God cares very deeply about you and about this life-long decision. He will give you guidance (Proverbs 3:5–6).
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