How can I love LGBTQ people without condoning their actions?

TL;DR:

All people are sinners in need of Christ’s grace, and believers can love LGBTQ individuals with dignity and compassion while upholding biblical truth about sexuality, sex, identity, and marriage. Believers are called to reflect Christ’s love and truth, pointing all people to the freedom and identity found in Him alone.

what does the bible say?

An LGBTQ person is someone whose sexual orientation or gender identity differs from the biblical understanding or their God-given biology. God created humanity in His image, determining our identity, sexuality, and purpose (Genesis 1:27; Psalm 139:13–16). The Bible affirms that God created humanity to be male and female and that marriage is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman. Sex was given to be experienced only within the marriage covenant. Any sexual activity outside of that one-man-one-woman marital union, whether it be homosexuality or pre-marital sex or having an affair or involvement in pornography, is outside of God's design and thus sinful (Genesis 2:24; Romans 1:26–27; 1 Corinthians 6:9).

All people, regardless of their particular sin or identity struggles, are sinners in need of Christ’s grace and redemption (Romans 3:23; Titus 3:3–5). The prideful gossip is just as in need of salvation as the abusive alcoholic and the sexually immoral. Believers can love those in the LGBTQ community while not compromising on biblical truth, just like they can love anyone else who is participating in a lifestyle of sin without neglecting or watering down biblical truth. Truth and love go hand-in-hand. Sin does not ultimately satisfy or bring freedom (James 1:14–18). We love others by acknowledging that they are created in God’s image and genuinely seeking their best (John 13:34–35). For Christians, loving LGBTQ individuals means treating them with dignity and compassion while upholding biblical truth, trusting God to work in their hearts (Ephesians 4:15; Colossians 4:6). Our role is to reflect Christ’s love and truth, pointing others to the freedom and identity found in Him alone (John 1:14; 2 Corinthians 5:20–21).

from the old testament

God is the Creator of everything, and as such, it is vital to understand how and why He made things the way that He did (Genesis 1:1). God made humanity as male and female (Genesis 1:27). He created men and women in His image, meaning that all people have intrinsic value and purpose (Genesis 1:26–27; Psalm 139:13–14). Men and women uniquely reflect God to the world around us. God determines our sexuality and assigns it to us in the womb (Psalm 139:15–16; Jeremiah 1:5).
God knows each of us and formed us. He told Jeremiah, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you" (Jeremiah 1:5). You were made intentionally and purposefully.
God created all of us to know Him and reflect Him. For those who are saved, our identity is not in anything temporary but in Him. God told the Israelites in Isaiah 43:1, "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." Many LGBTQ-identifying people have made sexuality, gender, or sexual activity preferences their primary identity. Humanity and human identity are so much deeper and broader than sexuality. Humans cannot be reduced to their sexual orientations or behaviors, and we should especially not reduce ourselves to sexual expressions that go against God’s design. Going against our God-given identity and purpose is sin and misses living in the freedom and beauty in which God created us.
God created marriage to be a life-long covenant between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24–25), and He created sex as part of this covenantal union. Within the covenant of marriage, sex is intended for procreation, enjoyment, and deepening of the marital bond. Because husband and wife are fully committed to one another, they are free to be fully vulnerable and self-giving in the act of sex. Sex is not intended for gratification of one’s desires, nor is it some animalistic drive. It is an expression of intimate love intended for marriage.
Not only is marriage a building block of society, it is used as an image of God’s relationship with His people (Ezekiel 16; Hosea 2). Thus God takes the human covenant of marriage, including sex, seriously (Deuteronomy 22:13–30; Malachi 2:16).
Several times in the Old Testament, God states that homosexuality and that sex outside of marriage are sin (Genesis 19; Leviticus 18:22; 20:13).

from the new testament

The New Testament reiterates that God created marriage to be a life-long covenant between one man and one woman (Matthew 19:4–6), and He created sex as part of this covenantal union (Hebrews 13:4; 1 Corinthians 7:2–3).
The New Testament also describes God’s relationship with His people in terms of the image of marriage (2 Corinthians 11:2; Ephesians 5:25–32; Revelation 19:6–9; 21:2).
The New Testament also reiterates that homosexuality or other sexual deviances are sinful (Romans 1:26–32; 1 Corinthians 6:9, 16–20; 1 Thessalonians 4:3).
We are all sinners (Romans 3:23). Without Christ, we are all in bondage to sin (John 8:34; Romans 6:16). We need to remember this when we respond to unbelievers (Titus 3:3–5).
Sexual sin is deeply difficult and insidious because it uniquely affects both body and soul (1 Corinthians 6:18), often entangles desires and identity (James 1:14–15), and can harden hearts through deception (Hebrews 3:13).
We can love others, believers or unbelievers, while upholding the truth (Ephesians 4:15; 1 Peter 3:15). We are called to balance well the tension of grace and truth (John 1:14; Colossians 4:6). This means loving the person and seeing their intrinsic value as having been made in the image of God while also seeing that their greatest need is knowing and being transformed by the love and truth of Christ.

implications for today

Many of those who are in the LGBTQ community have made their sexual desires a primary aspect of their identities and lives. Their greatest need is not to be straight or to get married or to look a certain way. Their greatest need is to understand that there is a God who made them purposefully, who loves them deeply, and who wants what is best for them. Because we know this is true about God, we can love people who identify as LGBTQ while also having convictions and upholding what the Bible says about identity and sex. Living this out is difficult, but loving well and holding biblical convictions are not mutually exclusive. Upholding biblical principles is never an excuse to treat someone poorly. We are all sinners in need of grace. Believers have been transformed by this grace and have the joy, peace, and love of God. We of all people are called to reflect God’s unconditional love, righteousness, and truth in a way that shows His heart and character to a world that desperately needs Him (Matthew 5:14–16; John 17:20–23; 1 John 4:7–12).

People in the LGBTQ community need a place to belong and to see God for who He is. Yes, the truths of what He says will be difficult for many to hear, but freedom is found in walking in the purpose and identity with which He created us. It is not our job to convict or be the Holy Spirit in a person’s life, but it is our responsibility to uphold the truth with love and to show people who God is and what He has done for them to find wholeness and satisfaction. Our calling is to love as Christ loved—truthfully, graciously, and without compromise (John 1:14). True belonging is found in Christ alone, and our role is to reflect His character in both word and action. When we uphold biblical truth with genuine love, we create space for people to encounter the God who alone satisfies, redeems, and restores (2 Corinthians 5:20–21).

understand

God created us as male and female, and our true identity is found in Him.
Loving others, including those in the LGBTQ community, includes upholding biblical truth.
Upholding biblical truth with genuine love creates space for people to encounter God who alone satisfies and makes us whole.

reflect

How have you come to learn and understand your God-given identity?
When have you wrestled with your identity and sexuality? How has the truth of God’s Word and the way He made you shaped your understanding of who you are?
How can you reflect both God’s love and truth in your interactions with people whose beliefs or lifestyles differ from yours?

engage

How can we as a community show both truth and love to people in the LGBTQ community while upholding biblical teachings?
How does understanding our own identity in Christ shape the way we engage with others? How can we honestly share our struggles with others, especially if we think they will not understand or relate? How can we interact with those whose struggles differ from our own with love, grace, and truth?
In what practical ways can we create spaces where LGBTQ individuals feel both loved and challenged to encounter God’s transformative truth?