How can I heal from the hurt of a broken relationship?

TL;DR:

Although broken relationships can be very painful, we can follow Christ’s example and extend grace and forgiveness to those who hurt us.

The Old and Testaments contain examples of broken relationships, as well as the forgiveness, grace, and compassion that can repair them. In the Old Testament, the first broken relationship recorded in history is the fall of mankind and the division it caused between God and man. However, God promised that one day there would be an offspring of the woman (Jesus Christ) who would save the world (Genesis 3:15) Jacob and Esau were brothers with a painfully broken relationship (Genesis 27:41) who experienced reconciliation (Genesis 33:4). David was met with forgiveness and grace from the Lord when he confessed his sins (2 Samuel 12:13; 2 Samuel 24:10). Jesus experienced many broken relationships, yet He sacrificed His life for these very people. The Parable of the Prodigal Son is one of the most powerful depictions of healing from a broken relationship (Luke 15:11-32). When the wayward son returned from his folly, the father ran toward him, embracing and immediately forgiving him. The Apostle Paul informs us that God can restore the brokenness in our lives (Philippians 4:6-7). He also encourages us to forgive others “as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). One of the most comforting truths we can cling to is found in Revelation 21:4, which promises an eternity without pain, which includes the pain of broken relationships.

from the old testament

When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden of Eden, they were separated from God and their relationship was painfully broken (Genesis 3). However, in verse 15, God promised that the offspring of the woman would “bruise” the head of the serpent, which is the first prophetic reference to Jesus Christ saving the world.
A powerful story of reconciliation is found within the Genesis accounts about Jacob and his twin brother, Esau. After Jacob manipulated Esau into selling his birthright and betrayed him by stealing his blessing, he ran away from home. Many years later, Jacob and his family crossed paths with Esau. Although Jacob was fearful of his estranged brother’s reaction, Esau extended amazing compassion and love toward Jacob. When they saw each other off in the distance, Esau ran toward Jacob, kissed him, and wept with him (Genesis 33:3).
When King David acknowledged his sin in stealing Bathsheba from her husband, committing adultery with her, and murdering her husband, he humbly confessed his sins to God and was forgiven (2 Samuel 12:13).

from the new testament

In Matthew 26:14-75, Jesus was betrayed by Judas, one of His closest followers, abandoned by all His disciples, and denied by Peter in the final hours of His life. Despite this, He still gave His life for them.
In Mark 6:1-4, Jesus was painfully rejected by the community He grew up in when He went to preach to them.
In His parable about the prodigal son, Jesus shares a beautiful depiction of what grace, forgiveness, and reconciliation looks like in spite of a broken relationship. Even after a selfish son squanders his father’s inheritance, he is received with amazing love and acceptance from his father when he returns home (Luke 15:11-32).
Although Jesus was crucified by those He came to save, He loved them very deeply (and still does) (1 John 4:9-10).
The Apostle Paul makes it clear that God’s can restore and redeem the brokenness in our lives (Romans 8:1-39).
No matter what wrongs we have been dealt by someone, we should forgive that person just like Christ forgave us (Ephesians 4:32).
Revelation 21:4 reminds us that the pain of broken relationships will not be eternal: "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away" (Revelation 21:4).

implications for today

The hurt of a broken relationship can derail and devastate us. It can cause feelings of pain, loss, confusion, guilt, heartbreak, anger, rejection, and sadness. Some people try to numb their pain through substances. Others find help in counseling or positive thinking, while others remain stuck in their depression and anger. While time can help a person to move forward, only God can bring true healing to a broken heart. Yet, Jesus’ suffering and overcoming of the world’s brokenness should encourage us. Not only did He restore and redeem the broken relationship between God and His creation, but He empathizes with our pain (Hebrews 4:15). As children of God, we are told that He will comfort us and never abandon us (Isaiah 43:2; 2 Corinthians 1:3-4; Hebrews 13:5). In fact, He will provide us with what we need so we can stand strong in the face of hardship (Ephesians 6:10-18; James 1:2-4; 2 Peter 1:3-8;). Ultimately, though we will experience heartbreak, our Heavenly Father loves us and desires to comfort us in our time of pain. He will one day heal us from our sorrows once and for all.

understand

Healing from broken relationships involves extending grace and forgiveness.
God's promise of restoration is evident throughout Scripture, which enables us to seek reconciliation as well.
True healing comes from encountering God's love and allowing Him to comfort and guide us through pain.

reflect

In what ways have I struggled to extend grace and forgiveness to those who have hurt me, and how can I begin to change that?
Reflecting on my own experiences, how has God's promise of restoration impacted my healing journey from broken relationships?
How can I actively invite God into my healing process and rely on His love and comfort during times of pain?

engage

How do biblical stories of reconciliation, such as those of Jacob and Esau or the Prodigal Son, illustrate the transformative power of forgiveness?
What lessons can we learn from Jesus' responses to betrayal and rejection that can help us navigate our own broken relationships?
How does the truth of God’s restoration and reconciliation shape our understanding of healing from emotional wounds?