What does the Bible say about being submissive? To whom are we to submit and why?

TL;DR:

Being submissive has to do with recognizing who is in authority and willingly yielding to their leadership. We are called to submit to God and, in doing so, also to authority and to one another.

In our modern culture we celebrate freedom, equality, and individuality, encouraging people to think and act for themselves. Some people cringe at the word submission because it stands in contradiction to this mindset. In the English language to submit is to yield power or authority to another person. It often has the negative connotation of someone being forced to give up his freedom and do something that is against his will. However, in the Bible, it did not have these connotations. It is important that we employ the tools of hermeneutics (the study of interpretation of texts) in order to best understand what the word submit would have meant in the languages and cultural contexts of the original authors and audiences. Submission is recognizing who is in authority and willingly yielding to their leadership. Christian submission includes putting someone else, and their needs, above our own. As believers, we are called to submit to God as well as to authority and to one another.

from the old testament

The angel of the Lord told Hagar to "return to [Sarai] and submit to her" (Genesis 16:9).
The fifth commandment told the Israelites to, "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you" (Exodus 20:12). While not using a direct term for submission, the concept of honoring parents implies yielding and respect for their authority.
"Now the man Moses was very meek, more than all people who were on the face of the earth" (Numbers 12:3). The Hebrew word anav (translated as meek or humble) reflects an attitude of submission before God.
"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him" (Psalm 37:7). The idea here involves submission to God’s timing and authority.
"But my people did not listen to my voice; Israel would not submit to me" (Psalm 81:11). The Hebrew word abah (to be willing or to submit) is used to describe Israel’s failure to submit to God.
The prophecy in Isaiah 45:23 expresses submission and worship before God as an act of reverence and acknowledgment of His sovereignty.

from the new testament

The New Testament was written in Greek and the Greek term used for submit is hupotasso (Romans 13:1; Ephesians 5:21–22; Colossians 3:18; Titus 3:1; 1 Peter 2:13; 3:1). Hupotasso was often used as a military term meaning to place oneself under the command of a leader. It was presented as a voluntary attitude of cooperating with and putting trust in an authority figure.
The ultimate authority is God (1 Corinthians 11:3). We submit to God as the highest authority (Luke 6:46; 14:27; John 15:1–17).
Even Jesus, who is God, demonstrated submission to the Father. In John 6:38–40 Jesus explains, "For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day. For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day."
At the end of Jesus’ life on earth when He is praying in the garden of Gethsemane, we see a powerful act of submission. Jesus prayed, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will" (Matthew 26:39). Jesus knew that He was about to be crucified, yet He chose to submit to the Father, trusting His plan for the salvation of humanity.
Besides God, we submit to others because God commands it. First Peter 2:13–14 says, "Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good."
Since all human authority is given to them by God, we are called to submit to those in authority (Romans 13:1–7).
Wives are told to submit to their husbands (1 Peter 3:1–6), and in turn husbands should love their wives as themselves (1 Peter 3:7; Ephesians 5:22–33).
Children and youth are to submit to parents and elders (Ephesians 6:1–3; 1 Peter 5:5). This honors and respects the wisdom of parents and elders which provides structure in society and positive mentorship. Parents are to raise their children in the instruction of the Lord and not provoke them (Ephesians 6:4).
Slaves are to obey their masters (Ephesians 6:5–8) so that their masters can become believers and then they will no longer be slave and master but fellow brothers in Christ. Masters are to treat their bondservants fairly, understanding that they themselves have a Master in heaven (Ephesians 6:9; Colossians 4:1). Today these same concepts apply to employees and their bosses.
Christians are all called to submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21) so they might put others first by caring for them.

implications for today

For a Christian, submitting to one another, as described in Ephesians 5:21, means choosing to prioritize the needs, well-being, and dignity of others out of reverence for Christ. We can submit to others because we submit to the ultimate authority, God, and because we know He will hold accountable those to whom we submit. This submission is voluntary, not coerced or demanded, and it is an act of humility. Submission means recognizing who is in charge or who is making the decisions. It is willingly laying aside personal agendas and self-centered desires to serve and support others with love and respect. In practical terms, it might look like listening well, showing empathy, or making sacrifices for the sake of another's benefit—whether in friendships, family relationships, or church communities. It might look like allowing someone to lead, even if that means doing it in a way that you wouldn’t. Rather than seeking control or asserting our own way, submission means we choose a posture of kindness, patience, and understanding, knowing that each act of humble submission reflects Christ’s love. By submitting to one another, we build up and strengthen each other, creating unity and mutual care that glorifies God and reflects His heart.

understand

Submission is willingly yielding to another person.
Submission involves recognizing who is in charge.
We are called to submit to God, to authority, and to others.

reflect

Where in your life do you find it challenging to submit to God’s authority? How might trusting Him in these areas change your perspective?
How can you prioritize the needs and well-being of others, even if it means setting aside your own preferences?
What steps can you take to humbly submit to those in authority over you, while still honoring your commitment to God’s values?

engage

What should we do if the authority over us is asking us to disobey God? In these cases we must submit first to the higher authority, which is God (Acts 5:29). This will most often lead to persecution and perhaps even martyrdom. However, God has placed us in these situations so we can be witnesses of His authority. How does submitting to God impact how we submit to authority figures?
How do you see submission as a strength rather than a weakness, and how can this perspective shape our thinking on submission?
What does submission look like practically in church relationships, marriages, and employer/employee relationships?

What does the Bible say about being submissive? To whom are we to submit and why?

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